The First Weeks

Dear Luke,

After you were born, the first few days were full of nursing, crying and sleeping...we had nurses to help us figure out your cries and to teach us all about how to care for a baby boy.  And when I say "care for", I mean how to change your diaper after your AWFUL, TRAUMATIC, HORRENDOUS, TERRIFYING circumcision.  Okay.  It was all of those things for me, but for you - I think you were okay.  When the nurse wheeled you back into our room after it was done, she pulled open your diaper so she could show us how to clean and change you.  I was a crying, hysterical mess.  Just ask your dad.  No kidding, I wobbled into the bathroom to find tissue because I was sobbing so hard.  You looked like you were in so. much. pain.  I swear if mom's knew about this ahead of time, no one would ever have their child circumcised.  But alas - you are okay and it only took a few weeks to heal.  And I only cried every time I changed your diaper for about a week.

When we came home, we had a couple of days as just a family of 3.  We did pretty good, I'd say.  You survived anyway!

Leaving Northwestern

Snoozing with Dad your first day home

Early morning with Dad

Then we had lots of visitors...Gramma, Grampa, Auntie Amber and cousins Maddie and Maci; Nana, Papa, "Auntie" Audrey, Adeline, Matthew and Ethan.  You were a good boy and loved being passed around and snoozing in the arms of anyone who would hold you.  I was doing okay after coming home, but still in quite a bit of pain - thankfully dad took more than a week off of work to help and love on you every day.

It was still cold out, but we bundled you up and went for walks.  At first, all we could do is 4 blocks to Walgreens and back.  There was always something we had to get from the store...vaseline for your poor boy parts (*tear*), gauze pads (also for your poor boy parts), gas medicine, binkys, lotion...the list went on and on.

Your first walk

Eventually we walked farther and the weather turned into summer.  And every morning was a Starbuck's morning!

Hanging out at Starbuck's with mama

You were eating all. the. time.  (and who am I kidding; you still do at 3 mos)  We got the nursing thing down after about 4 or 5 weeks.  There was definitely a time when I could not imagine it not hurting and feeling like my toenails were being pulled out by pliers (HA!)...but eventually it became easy.  And I can honestly say we couldn't have done it without daddy.  He gave us lots of support and encouraging words.  Now it's a breeze most of the time.  You're super antsy - always need to know what's going on - so sometimes it's hard for you to sit still long enough to eat.

You had to be swaddled for quite awhile....your arms and legs are always moving and just a few minutes after falling asleep you'd wake yourself up with a blow to your own face.  Poor boy.  You loved sleeping in your Boppy lounger...you slept in it during the day and even in between your mama and daddy for a few nights at the beginning.

When you were two weeks old, we went to see Gramma and Grampa for 10 days.  Daddy had a long work trip and was so sad to leave.  You did great and only had one major "incident" on the way there!  We talked to Dad every night and he missed you so much.

Here you are in your carseat at Gramma's - look how little you are!

The first month went by so quickly.  Your 1 month check up went terrific and you weighed in at 9 lbs, 1 oz and were 21 inches long!  A healthy growing boy - and it made me so proud and happy to know that I had provided all of the nourishment you needed.

Undressed and waiting for the pediatrician at your 1 mo. check up.

So many things happened in your first month...most notable to me is you smiling.  We told the pediatrician that you were smiling and she insisted that it was just gas.  I don't believe it for a second.  Here you are just shy of your 1 month birthday - smiling at me on our walk to Starbucks!

When you were born, I was overcome with emotion and love.  It was hard to believe that I could love you any more.  But I do.  Every single day that has passed I love you even more.  Sometimes I love you so much it feels like my heart could burst.  Don't get me wrong Bubba, you have your moments....you're not always a happy camper and I struggle to get through some days.  But I would never change one single thing about you or the first weeks we spent together.

I love you,
Mama